Jung Typology Test

One of my new classes this term is Career Development. This is the first week, and we had to take this personality test and report back with our results. I was upset at first thinking that there is no way the result was accurate, but after reading into I saw how creepily accurate it was.... yikes! It had not only some of my good strong assets but also a lot of my personal downfalls. My result is that I am a ISFJ - or Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging. Listen to this... 

"More so than other types, ISFJs are extremely aware of their own internal feelings, as well as other people's feelings. They do not usually express their own feelings, keeping things inside. If they are negative feelings, they may build up inside the ISFJ until they turn into firm judgments against individuals which are difficult to unseed, once set. Many ISFJs learn to express themselves, and find outlets for their powerful emotions. 

 ISFJs need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged, and may even become depressed. When down on themselves or under great stress, the ISFJ begins to imagine all of the things that might go critically wrong in their life. They have strong feelings of inadequacy, and become convinced that "everything is all wrong", or "I can't do anything right"."

Sadly, 100% accurate. If you are interested, take the test and let me know what you get! I'd be interested in knowing if it is accurate for other people too! Click here to take the test!

Worst month ever!

February 2012 may just go down as one of the toughest months for our family, ever! On the first our landlord came to our home (with no warning) and told me that she had sold our home and we needed to be out by the end of the month. From here things just went downhill. She turned into crazy old lady from... well you get the idea. She treated us horribly and left me (and sometimes Nick) crying after just about every conversation, which was pretty often.

We were very blessed by an ad on Craigslist from a local realtor one day. We found a lovely duplex that not only met our budget, but also kept Nick in his school. We are just down the road from his "girlfriend" and just around the corner from his best friend (both from school). We moved in as soon as it was physically possible, on the 9th of February. Yes you read that right, we woke up on the 1st thinking everything was perfect and were out of that house by the 9th. We found out, searched, prayed, planned, packed, and moved all in 9 days. We only waited that long because Josh was off on Thursdays. We actually found out we had the house on 6th, and could have moved on the 7th! Haha! About a week later we had the other house completely cleaned and after much tension with ex-landlord, were finally able to sign papers and get [some] of our deposit back. It was absolutely crazy, but we are happy and together and that is all that matters!

Now that enough makes for a crazy month, but it would be silly for me to stop there... right? Of course with my kind of luck, we can't stop there! This past week, less that 2 weeks from moving, Andrew complains of horrible pain in his abdomen and then a knot appears on his belly button... yup, it is a hernia. So we went to the ER because within 24 hours it progressively grew in pain and ugliness! They kept him over Thursday night and he had surgery Friday morning. It's been quite the trip!

February can be one for the books, but we all hope and pray that it was not a vision into what the year 2012 will be like! We have high hopes and that is enough for now! Now that things are starting to slow down, I just sit here at night... just me and my crazy cat. So emotional at all that we have overcome. I do not express my feelings well, so for the most part for the past 26 days, I have been completely internal. Because of this, I feel so lonely. I just want to cry from the stress, even though it has all worked out to the best thus far. All of this added in with the situation from my last post, and I may need to be admitted to somewhere with padded walls if this stuff doesn't calm down!

Love you all! Thanks for letting me vent! :-)

1,842

What’s that random number you ask? 

One thousand, eight hundred, and forty-two 

That is how many days have passed since we first trying to conceive a baby brother or baby sister for Nick. In case you don’t want to do the math, counting back that will put you on January 10, 2007. Nick was exactly 2 months old. I have been to 4 different doctors and 1 specialist on this journey so far. I can’t even tell you how many times I have had blood drawn, ultrasounds done, or medication prescribed (both pills and at-home shots).

The question of “do you plan on having more children” breaks my heart; the reply of “are you pregnant” anytime I am sick or emotional plagues me down to my soul.  Learning of a friend or family member who is newly pregnant feels like a sword to my soul. Hearing about teenagers or other mothers who simply don’t want the baby, or of abortions or neglected children is enough to make me cry for days. There are very few people who even know of this trial. It isn’t something you advertise, having {gulp} infertility problems. It’s not something I can control, it’s not hereditary or because of something I have done. It’s not because of my weight, height, age… nothing. It’s not because I am ‘trying too hard’ as I have heard often from people who think they know it all. My ovaries simply don’t release the eggs it matures every month.  Seems simple enough, right? Wrong.

I had all but lost hope. By not ovulating, I put myself at a very high risk for ovarian and uterine cancer. The only “cure” is to force menstruation; the only way to do that easily is to take birth control pills. For those of you who can’t put it together, birth control pills prevent pregnancy… the opposite of what we want here. They also make me a colossal witch, my skin break out like a middle schooler, and cause more pain than a normal person should have to deal with.

We recently got health insurance for the first time since moving to Tulsa, so I decided it was time to get checked out. I had pretty much decided to just let him put me back on birth control pills because I was done. I wanted to keep trying, but I didn’t think I could keep going. I can’t even begin to describe to torture you put yourself through every.single.day/month/year going through this. It is an internal battle I have every day, between my head and my hormones and ovaries.

Upon meeting the new doctor, and hearing him talk, I changed my mind. He said I was a prime candidate for a certain treatment. He was very hopeful for the future. He was nice and friendly, while still maintaining his professionalism. Unlike most doctors, he spent more time learning about me and my past than he did telling me things I need to change or that I have done wrong. While I am still very apprehensive about going forward, I am gaining some unidentified strength that I can only credit to God’s grace.

So here’s to the future. We shall go on with a new treatment and see what is in store for us. I am scared, but hopeful. If you would join our family in prayer over this situation, we would greatly appreciate it. 

For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.

Matthew18:20

This song by Jeremy Camp is called Overcome; it has helped me in more ways than I can count. Give it a listen, and have a blessed day. 

 

I see you!

Hello out there! I know it has been a while since my last blog, and trust me, that will change soon. I just wanted to give a shout out to whomever is checking my blog regularly awaiting a new post... I check my Blogger account daily to see blogs I follow, and have noticed at least 1-3 new page views every single day. I don't know who you are, but you make my day every time I look! :) New post coming soon... promise!